


In The Middle of a Memory

by ScruffyPalace



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: 16x08, 16x16, F/M, Letter, Pregnant Jo, baby karev, kinda fix-it fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:08:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25827190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScruffyPalace/pseuds/ScruffyPalace
Summary: It'd been a little over six months since Jo received the letter and eight weeks since she'd given birth to her daughter. She'd resigned to the fact that she'd be a single mother, until one day someone ran into the hospital and Jo realized things aren't always as they seem.
Relationships: Alex Karev/Isobel "Izzie" Stevens, Alex Karev/Jo Wilson Karev
Comments: 57
Kudos: 156





	1. First day back in the real world

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, so this is basically what I hope happens in the new season. Honestly don't know if I'll be able to watch it without Alex. I know the actor probably won't come back till the series finale, but I hope they can somehow get Jo and Alex back together. Idk. Hope ya'll enjoy!

“WaaaAAAAHHH.”  
“Ugh,” Jo whined as she rubbed her closed eyes with her blanket-covered hand. Her eyes tried to open as she leaned over and flipped the switch on her lamp. The brightness was too much for the sleep-deprived young mom, who squeezed her eyes shut and covered her face with her fluffy white comforter.  
“Wah WAH WAAAH,” Olivia screamed. Jo knew she needed to get up and check on her, but her first shift back at the hospital started in less than four hours and she needed all the sleep she could get.  
“I’m coming, Baby,” Jo said as she pushed the blanket to her feet and slipped out of bed. The 8-week-old was lying on her back, grasping at her toes as her screams made her face grow as red as a tomato.  
Jo placed her hand under Olivia’s head and butt and lifted her to her chest.  
“What’s wrong, hmm? Are you hungry? Or maybe you have a dirty,” she lifted Olivia above her head and sniffed her bum. “Oh yeah, definitely a dirty diaper,” Jo said with a wrinkled nose. She carried the baby to her dresser that had a changing mat lying across the top and placed her on it. She quickly changed her daughter’s diaper and carried her to the glider across the room.  
She rested Olivia in her arms as she rocked back and forth. As Olivia’s eyes started to droop, Jo got a look at all of her defining features. Her light brown hair she’d inherited from her and the brown eyes thats shape matched her fathers’. She brushed her hand across the infant's head and watched as she fell asleep, her hands curled together and resting on her cheek. It was in moments like these, Jo thought about how unfair it was that Alex wasn’t there to see them. That he wasn’t there when she was born, or when she smiled her first smile at eight weeks. Then, she remembered how unfair it was that he left her in the middle of one of the hardest times of her life and how unfair it was that she’d have to take on all the responsibility for their child because he wanted the perfect apple pie life with his ex. Olivia let out a gurgle, then smiled a crooked smile, another thing she’d inherited from her father.  
Jo kissed Olivia’s forehead before standing and placing her back in her cradle. She climbed into bed and checked the clock. 4:57. Great, she thought. If she were lucky, she could get another hour before having to get up and face her first day back. She closed her eyes and hoped to soak up every second.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.  
“WAaaAAaAhHhHHH,” Jo heard again as she slammed her hand against her alarm. She got up and carried Olivia out of their bedroom, down the hall and to the kitchen. When she’d found out she was pregnant, she realized living in a bad neighborhood with an infant and no one to protect them wasn’t a good idea, so she, Link, and Amelia bought and moved into the house Derek built. It was quite the change, moving in with a couple and their baby, but Jo couldn’t have done the single mother thing without them.  
Link was in the kitchen cooking some eggs and baby Scout was sitting on the counter in a bouncer, chewing on his sock. Jo placed Olivia in the matching white and tan bouncer next to him before preparing a bottle.  
Link carried the pan to a line of three plates, dumping an even amount onto each plate. Jo grabbed hers and quickly scarfed it down while feeding Olivia.  
“Woah, wanna slow down there?” Link joked as he carried his plate to the counter and sat beside his son, who’s attention was on the soft blue and white ball his father had placed in his hands.  
“I need to make sure I get there in enough time to get Olivia to daycare,” Jo said with a full mouth. She finished her plate and brushed her sleeve across her lips as she carried the plate to the sink.  
Amelia walked in, her hands in her hair as she tied it into a neat bun. She watched as Jo ran around the kitchen, throwing bottles into her diaper bag.  
“Nervous about your first day back?” she asked. She walked over to Scout and lifted her from her bouncer, resting the 8-month-old on her side.  
“A little,” Jo said, then recounted the number of diapers and changes of clothing she’d packed. She turned her head to Olivia who was staring at her with wide eyes. She walked over, lifted the baby out of her seat, placed her on her shoulder, and patted her back until Olivia let out a loud, “Uuuuh.”  
Amelia passed Scout to Link, who followed Jo back to her bedroom. He waited by the door as she placed Olivia on her changing pad and looked through her drawers for a clean outfit.  
“It’s normal to be nervous about leaving her for the first time.” Link said, “The first time we left Scout at daycare I checked on her every fifteen minutes. I was useless for the first week until Bailey screwed my head on straight.”  
Jo unsnapped her daughter’s sleep onesies and slowly slid it off her tiny arms as Olivia waved them around.  
“I know, I know. I just need to get there and get it over with.” She blew a raspberry onto her daughter's stomach, who smiled and waved her arms as though she was trying to clap. She put her chubby arms and legs into a new onesie, snapped it closed, and carried her to the bed, laying her on the unmade bedding.  
Link walked over and placed his hand on her shoulder. He waited until she looked him in the eye and noticed hers were glistening with tears.  
“Hey, hey, don’t worry. Things will be okay, you’ll see. You can visit her whenever you want. You get used to it.” Jo closed her eyes and for a moment, pretended it was Alex’s hand and her shoulder and comforting words she’d just heard. She imagined they were back in their loft, him just as or maybe even a little more nervous as they prepared their daughter for their first day in a new and scary place without either of her parents. He’d probably make silly faces and jokes to make them both feel better and-  
“You’re gonna do great,” Link said. Link, not Alex because this wasn’t some fairytale. This wasn’t her old life, this was her new one. The one where she was a single mother and needed to toughen up if she was going to still be the surgeon she’d always dreamed of. She opened her eyes and nodded.  
“Yeah, thanks Link,” she said, before turning back to Olivia and hoping he didn’t see the tear slide down her cheek.


	2. A familiar face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo drops her daughter off at her first day of daycare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews I received! I will keep updating as fast as I can!

“Oh, Mommy loves you so, so, so much,” Jo said as she covered Olivia’s face in kisses. The baby squealed from her car seat that was sitting on the floor in the daycare. “Oh, guess who’s here?” Jo asked in a high pitched voice as she raised her fingers and wiggled them. “It’s the…tickle monster!” She gently brushed her fingertips across Olivia’s stomach, making her squeal yet again. 

Amelia walked up next to her and placed Scout on his bum. She crouched beside him. “Mommy’s gotta go to work for a while. She’s got a super important patient being flown in from far away in an,” she looked around, her eyes scanning the blocks and other various toys scattered across the floor. She found what she was looking for and held it up. “Airplane buh buh buh buh buh bu-”

“That’s not the sound an airplane makes,” Jo said with a raised brow. “It goes more like, brrrrrrruuuummmmm.” 

“Hmm. Oh well, mommy’s gotta go now,” Amelia said as she kissed Scout from head to toe. Amelia stood and walked out of the room, but Jo was stuck. Her legs wouldn’t move. She looked around at the other kids at the daycare. They were so much bigger than Olivia. One little one stumbled over a block and fell on another. What if someone fell on Olivia, she thought. She isn’t old enough to push a kid off of her. What if she suffocates. What if-

“Okay, it’s time to say bye now,” Meredith said as she walked through the entrance.

Jo whipped her head around and tilted it over her shoulder. “Link send you?”

“He had to get to rounds, which is where you should be too.” Meredith crouched beside her and gave Olivia her finger to grab a hold of. “Say bye-bye to Mama, so she can get to work.”   
Olivia stared wide-eyed at Jo and let out a gurgle. 

“Sounds like a bye to me.” Meredith stood and grabbed Jo by the shoulders. Jo grabbed Olivia’s pink sock-covered foot and kissed it. 

“Bye-bye baby.” Meredith tightened her grip on Jo’s arms and convinced her to stand. They walked out slowly, Jo not taking her eyes off Olivia until they were out of the room. 

Jo placed her back against the wall and covered her face with her hands. “Oh,” she said with a sniffle. She brushed her fingers down her face, revealing her red, watery eyes. “Why is this so hard? I’ll be in the same building as her all day. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Because you’re a mom. It’s not supposed to make sense and being a single mom makes it twice as hard, but it does get better. You’ll come visit her and see how much fun she’s having.”

Jo glared at Meredith. “Fun? She’s eight weeks old. She eats, sleeps, and poops.”

Meredith patted her shoulder. “That’s all the emotional support I have. Get to work.” Meredith walked away, leaving Jo by herself, swiping at her tears and trying to compose herself before her rounds.   
She couldn’t believe it’d already been eight weeks since her little girl entered the world…

Eight weeks earlier… 

“I HATE HIM,” Jo screamed as she leaned forward. Twenty-two hours into labor and Jo wanted nothing more than to have Alex by her side so she could squeeze his hand till it broke. 

“I know,” Link said as he stood next to her with a red face. He loved being there for his friend, but he was a surgeon and needed to keep his hand in good shape. “Don’t think about him. Think about your daughter, who you’re going to meet very soon.”

“Yeah, my daughter, whose father is a JERKFACE MORON.” 

“Jerkface Moron?” Ameilia asked from her other side. 

Jo glared at her. “I am tired, excuse me for not coming up with the best insults for my ASSHOLE OF AN EX.” 

“Okay, you can breathe for a moment,” the doctor by her feet said. Jo leaned back, tears filling her eyes as she stared at the ceiling. 

“He should be here. Why did he leave me? Why can’t anyone love me?” a tear rolled down her cheek as Link put his finger on her chin and turned her head to face his. 

“Hey, stop. I love you, Ameilia loves you, and this baby will love you. I know this is hard, and if I ever see his face again, he’ll have to have a meeting with Jackson after I’m done with him, but you have to forget about him right now.” 

“I want him. I want him here.” 

“Okay,” the doctor by her feet said, “Give me another big push.” 

Jo took a deep breath as the contraction tore her from the inside out. “I WANT ALEX,” she screamed as she gave the rest of her energy to get her daughter out. 

“WAAAAhAHahhh,” the baby screamed as the doctor lifted her above the blanket that covered Jo’s legs. 

Jo placed her hand over her mouth. “Oh my god.” She reached her arms out. The doctor leaned over and placed the baby into them. 

“Here’s your little girl.” Jo curled her daughter into her arms and rested her against her sweat-covered chest. 

“Hey baby,” Jo said. She leaned down and planted a kiss on the baby’s forehead. “Welcome to the world, Olivia.” 

Present…

“Your husband’s surgery will last quite a few hours, but I’ll have someone come out and give you updates,” Jo said to her last round. She raised her elbow to her mouth just in time to cover a loud yawn. Olivia was still waking multiple times during the night and she’d walked around more in the last hour than she had in the previous eight weeks.

“And you’ll be doing the surgery?” The woman asked, her voice wavering as she squinted her eyes. 

Jo nodded. “Yes, I promise you your husband is in capab-” she cut herself off when another yawn escaped her lips, “-hands.”

The woman nodded, but her lips stayed tightly pressed together. Jo walked out of the room with her head held tall. She wasn’t going to let that woman mess with her confidence on her first surgery back.

She made her way to the elevator and rode down two floors. She walked as quickly as was appropriate towards Meredith, who was standing at the front desk, tapping on a tablet.

“Grey,” Jo said loudly, making Meredith jump and almost drop her tablet.

“Ka-Wi-Jo,” she said. 

“Are you still on for picking up Olivia and bringing her to your house for the night?” Jo wanted her daughter to spend as little time as possible in the daycare, so she assembled her friends to help work around her schedule.

“Yeah,” Meredith said, just as the doors to the outside opened and a man holding two young children ran in. Neither girl looked up until they heard him ask the nurse at the other desk, “Can you call Meredith Grey down here please?”

Both women’s eyes shot open as they whipped their heads towards the man. Standing in the hospital, for the first time in over six months, was Jo’s ex-husband and Meredith’s best friend.

Alex Karev.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meredith confronts Alex while Jo does her first surgery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took longer than I planned. I hope to update again as soon as possible. Thanks for all your kind reviews!

Neither girl looked up until they heard him ask the nurse at the other desk, “Can you call Meredith Grey down here please?”  
Both women’s eyes shot open as they whipped their heads towards the man. Standing in the hospital, for the first time in over six months, was Jo’s ex-husband and Meredith’s best friend.

Alex Karev.

Jo turned and stared at the desk in front of her, fire burning in her eyes as her throat constricted. 

“Oh my God,” she squeaked. Her breathing became quicker and quicker. She held tightly to the desk to keep her knees from buckling. Meredith’s eyes widened as she looked back and forth between Alex and Jo. 

“What is he doing here?” Jo asked. She glanced back at Alex and placed her hand over her mouth. “Are those his kids? Why is he here? Why did he bring them here? Do you think one of them is sick? Then why wouldn’t he just do something? He’s a Peds surgeon. Then again you can’t work on fam-”

“-Jo, stop,” Meredith said. She grabbed the shoulder of her coat and dragged her around the corner. Jo started hyperventilating. She held her tablet close to her chest and pressed her back against the wall. 

“Why is he here?” Jo asked as she stared at the ceiling, trying to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks. Damn fourth-trimester hormones.

“I don’t know.”

She threw herself off the wall and glared at Meredith. “You didn’t tell him about Olivia, did you?”

Meredith scowled. “I told you I wouldn’t.”

Jo placed her hands against her forehead, then ran them down her face. “Right, sorry. I just-do you think he knows?”

“I don’t know.”

“You already said that.”

“And I’ll keep saying it until you realize that I’m just as confused as you are.”

“I just-what if he knows and he’s here to yell at me and then get custody? Then he’ll take her away to live on a farm with Izzie and their twins and make muffins and school projects and she’ll call Izzie mom.” Jo grabbed Meredith’s jacket. “I can’t have Olivia calling Izzie mom.”

“Calm down. No one here would’ve told him. We’re on your side and if he tries to take her away, he’ll have to get through an entire hospital of people, but you don’t have to worry about that, because Alex would never do that.”

Meredith pushed Jo towards the elevator and said, “Now go get ready for your surgery. I’m going to talk to him and find out what it is he wants.”

Jo got on the elevator and turned around with a pout. “Okay. Text me updates.”

“I will.” The elevator doors closed. Meredith turned quickly, her face bumping into someone’s chest. She backed away a few steps before slowly looking up the familiar body to an old face.   
“Hey Mer.”

Jo hated her stupid ex. How dare he show up on her first day back at work, right before her first surgery. Was he trying to throw her off her game? She was already worried about Olivia being in that crowded daycare, did she have to add checking around every corner to her list? 

“Ready for your first surgery back?” Levi asked as he walked in and started washing his hands beside her.

“Hmm?” she asked as she was pulled from her thoughts. “Oh, yeah. So excited.” Levi smiled before holding his hands up and walking backwards into the O.R.

She hadn’t spent much time with Levi over her pregnancy, especially since she moved out right after she found out and left him the apartment. He didn’t seem upset if his smile was anything to go by.

Jo closed her eyes and took a deep breath before following him. She stood as the nurses placed her gown, gloves, and headlight on then walked to the middle-aged man she’d be removing the appendix of. As she stood above his abdomen, she smiled. No ex-husband was going to ruin her first surgery back. She held out her hand.

“Scalpel.”

Meredith laid back in her seat as she watched Alex punch his fingers into the buttons on the vending machine in the break room. Alexis was asleep on one of the couches, using her father’s jacket as a pillow and Eli had lined up a group of chairs and was climbing on the first one. Once he was standing on the chair, he bent his knees and leaned forward to jump, but was stopped by Alex wrapping his arm around his stomach and setting him on the floor.

“No,” Alex said as he waved his finger in front of the little boy’s face. Eli pouted. Alex shoved the bag of chips he’d bought into his hands and lead him to the couch. Once Eli was content, Alex grabbed a chair and slid it across the room to sit across from Meredith. 

“Sorry, if they’re not eating or sleeping, they’re destroying something,” Alex said with a tired chuckle. The sound of a true parent.

“I know what you mean.” 

No one spoke for a moment. The only sound in the room came from loud crunches Eli made as he shoved handfuls of chips into his mouth.

“Why are you here?” Meredith finally asked.

Alex furrowed his brows. “Wow Mer, quite the greeting-”

“Well, you had quite the exit.”

More silence. Eli finished his chips and slid off the couch. He slowly dragged his feet across the floor as he made his way to Alex.

“Daaaaad,” Eli said, his expression dragged down with his frown, “When can we see Mommy?”

Alex sighed and held his arm out. Eli grabbed onto his father’s shoulder and climbed into his lap. He stretched his legs and rested his head on his father's chest. Alex brushed his hand down Eli’s arm.

“Soon buddy. I promise.” Eli pulled his legs to his chest and rested his arm against it. He closed his eyes and popped his thumb in his mouth, letting his father’s warm, slowly moving chest lull him to sleep.

“Where is Izzie?” Meredith asked. 

Alex squeezed his eyes shut. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to his son’s temple, before saying, “That’s why we’re here. There’s something I need to tell you. Something I left out of the letter.”

Jo had a bounce in her step as she made her way to the nursery. Her surgery went perfectly and she felt as though there was nothing she couldn’t do. She walked through the door and immediately locked eyes on her sleeping daughter, perfect and uninjured. 

She slowly lifted her and placed her against her chest. Olivia squirmed but didn’t open her eyes. As soon as her face touched her mother’s scrubs, she sighed and rubbed her nose with her fist. Olivia knew she was her mom. Alex didn’t stand a chance against her. She wasn’t going to let him come in and take her away. He’d taken her trust, her self-love, and so much more, but Olivia was something he would never be able to have.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meredith has a talk with Alex while Jo has one with Link.

Alexis broke the silence. She slightly stirred, her arm moving from underneath her head, to hanging off the side of the break room couch.

“Mmm,” she moaned. 

Alex turned back and stared at her for a moment, waiting to see if she’d woken from her nap. Alexis pulled her legs against her chest and wrapped the fallen arm around them before releasing the tenseness that’d covered her face. Once he was sure she wasn’t listening to their conversation, Alex turned back to Meredith and continued to wait for a response.

“Mer?” he asked, not able to take her silence any longer.

She held up her finger, then folded her hands and placed them on her lap.

“Come on Mer, say something. Please?”

“I still think Jo deserved to know.”

“Seriously?” he asked loudly. “You think she deserved to be put through all that? After all she’s had to overcome?”

Eli squirmed in his lap. “Daddy?” he asked as he looked up at his father’s chin.

“Sorry bud, I didn’t mean to yell.” Alex repositioned Eli so he was sitting facing the same way as him, Eli’s back resting against Alex’s chest.

Meredith’s stern straight lips turned up as she saw the miniature version of her best friend. She’d been too caught up in the drama of seeing Alex and keeping him away from Jo, that she hadn’t gotten a good look at either of his children. Now that she had a moment, she could see all the similarities. Alex’s letter was right, he definitely had his crooked smile.

“Hi, Eli. I’m a friend of your daddy’s,” Meredith said as she held her hand out to the small boy. He looked up at Alex, who gave him an encouraging nod, then stuck his hand out and wrapped it around hers.

“Hi,” he said in a gentle voice. One that did not match the rambunctious child she’d witnessed earlier.

Eli pulled away and turned so his knees were on Alex’s thighs. He ran his hand’s along the lapels of his father’s jacket, then used his grip to pull himself up, so he was eye to eye with his father.

“Can we see mommy now?” Alex checked his watch.

“Yeah, she should be here. I’m going to go find out what room she’s in.” Alex turned back to Meredith and squeezed his lips. “Mer, do you mind watching them for a few minutes?”

“Of course.” Alex lifted Eli as he stood and placed him on his hip.

“Will you be good for Auntie Mer?” Eli nodded. Alex placed a kiss to his temple. “Good.” He put Eli on the floor and walked to the door.

Before he was gone, Meredith said, “There might still be time, you know, if you want to tell her. She might still be willing to listen.”

Alex looked at the floor for a moment, his bottom jaw pushed out as his teeth gritted together, then he left.

Meredith felt a tap on her knee. She looked at Eli, who had his hands behind his back and a hopeful smile on his face.

“Soooo, do you wanna play the floor is lava?” he asked.

“Isabelle Stevens, That’s S T E V E N S. She was supposed to arrive a half-hour ago.” Alex leaned over the counter, trying to get a look at the receptionist’s computer. She placed her hand on the monitor and turned it away from his view.

After a few taps, clicks, and drags she said, “Stevens, yes, she was brought by helicopter approximately thirty-eight minutes ago. She’s in room 804, on floor eight.”

“Thanks.” He turned back to the room to grab his kids, but then he realized it may be better to see her condition before the kids, so he could prepare them.

He walked down the hall to the elevator and pressed the up button. Once he was on, he looked at the tower of circles and tapped the number 8. It sent shivers down his spine, knowing what floor he was going to and what he was going to do.

Jo paced down the neurosurgery wing, her clipboard being flung this way and that as she looked for her best friend. She knew he had a patient being flown in and he was probably doing his best to prepare, but she needed a moment of his time. Some things were bigger than surgery.  
She found him sitting in the break room, an apple in one hand, and the other skimming the patient's chart. She threw the door open and plopped in the chair across from him.

“You will not believe who I saw today.”

“Jo, I’d love to talk but my surgery is in under an ho-”

“Alex.”  
“-and I’m pretty familiar with it,” he said as he pushed his chart away. “What do you mean you saw Alex? Like, in Seattle?”

“Like in this hospital, just a few minutes ago.” Link’s eyes widen and he blew out a sigh.

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“Does he know about Olive? Is that why he’s here?”

Jo looked down at her fingers brushing against each other. “I don’t know. I don’t know how he would’ve found out. Meredith said she didn’t say anything and if anyone was going to, it’d be her, so I don’t know. Maybe he’s here to apologize for leaving without telling me? Maybe he doesn’t even want to see me and is just here for Meredith? Why is he here again? Can’t he just let me be in peace for once?”

Link stood and walked around the table. He crouched down and pulled Jo into his arms.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay.” He rubbed his hand up and down her back and she hiccuped into his shoulder.

“How ca-hiccup-n you kn-know that? What if he hiccup tries to take her?”

“He won’t. Alex isn’t the kind of guy who’d do something like that.”

Jo pulled back and whipped her snot on her sleeve. “That’s not hiccup what you said when I told you I was hiccup pregnant.”

There was a bump. A small bump. No bigger than average period bloating or post large meal stomach, but she hadn’t eaten a large meal and she’d missed her last three periods. She was going to miss the next few periods as well, because of what was growing right underneath that small bump. There was no hiding it anymore.

Well, technically she could still hide it. She could probably hide it for the next month or so, but it was still real. No matter how many baggy sweaters or stretchy scrubs she bought, it wasn’t going away.  
She pulled her scrubs back over her stomach and walked out of the stall to the sink. After washing her hands, she made the mistake of looking at her reflection. Sunken eyes, chubbier than average cheeks, a permanent frown. She cupped her hands under the cold water then splashed it against her face, trying to wake herself up after working the last ten hours. She gripped both sides of the sink and took a few deep breaths. The water seemed to do the trick, so she dried herself off with a paper towel and left the bathroom.

She opened the door to Link, who was standing across the hall with his back against the wall and he did not look happy.

“Come with me,” he said as he grabbed her hand and led her through the hall. They reached an empty break room. He guided her in, then closed and locked the door behind himself. He leaned against the door with an impatient expression and crossed arms. He released one hand as he waved for her to speak.

“I don’t know what this is about,” Jo said, her arms crossed over her stomach.

“You’re pregnant?” he asked, causing her to jump.

“How on earth did you find out?”

He huffed. “So it’s true. How far along?”

“A few months. Did someone tell you?”

“Who knows? How many people did you tell before me?”

“No one. I just meant I thought maybe my doctor had let it slip.”

Link pushed himself off the wall and waved his arms around. 

“I can’t believe this. You were the first person to know about Amelia being pregnant. I told you right after I found out. Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked. The closer he got, the more upset he grew.

Jo took a step back. “I haven’t even known for that long. I still don’t know how you figured it out.”

Link closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “All the symptoms you’ve been having. The morning sickness, the fatigue, the weird food aversions. I figured it out.”

Jo raised her brow.

“Okay, Amelia figured it out. I can’t believe she was right. I mean, a baby?” he sat down in the wooden chair, his eyes glued to Jo’s stomach.

Jo sat across from him. “Link, you’re not the father. You realize that, right?”

Link nodded.

Jo scrunched up her nose. “Cause you’re kinda freaking out like you are.”

Link shook his head. “No, I just, Jo you’re gonna be a parent.”

Jo rested her arms on her knees and sighed. “Yeah.”

Suddenly, a flash of anger crossed Link’s eyes. “I’m gonna kill him,” he said as he stood and started walking to the door.

“No, Link,” she said as she ran after him and caught his hand before it could reach the handle. “I know you want to murder Alex, but we both know that’s not a good idea.”

“He can’t just get away with getting you pregnant and running away,” Link shouted.

Jo placed her hands on his wrists and pleaded, “Please don’t say that so loud. I’m really trying to keep it from spreading around the hospital.”

Link nodded. “And you’re okay with this? Raising a baby on your own? You don’t even want to let him know? I’m not saying for his sake, because screw him, but parenting is hard. I’ve only been a parent for a little over a month and I know I couldn’t have done it without Amelia.”

Jo let out a humorless laugh. “Of course I don’t want to do this by myself, but he left. I can’t change that and I don’t know if this baby would make him come back. It might, but he might also try to get custody and look at my history. I just got out of a mental institution. No judge is going to think I’m mentally capable enough to raise a child. I figured I just wouldn’t risk it.”

Link nodded. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

“What?” he asked, his eyebrows knitted together.

“What? You said that’s a good idea. You said not telling him was a good idea, because he might try to take her away.”

Link huffed. “Yeah, but that was more me trying to help my sad, worried friend, but now that he’s here, I’m going to be honest. No matter how much I hate the guy, I still don’t think he’d try and take Olive from you and that’s if he even knows about her.”

Jo nodded and wiped the tear that had fallen down her cheek away. “You’re right. I’ll take things one step at a time. Thanks, Link.”

Link helped her stand and walked her to the door. She turned and waved goodbye to Link, so she didn’t see when a man stepped off the elevator down the hall. She looked to the elevator just as the doors were closing behind him.

“Jo?” he asked, staring at her with wide eyes.

Jo’s jaw dropped, before she composed herself, turned around, and started to walk away.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex sees Jo for the first time.

“Jo!” Alex shouted as he ran after her. She power-walked away, pretending not to hear her ex-husband.

“Come on, Jo, I need to talk to you. Please, just give me a minute.”

Jo stopped in her tracks. She turned around, glaring furiously, and stormed to him, her finger waving in his direction.

“Don’t you think you said enough in the letter?” Alex’s eyes widened as he looked around at the nurses and doctors who’d stopped to watch. Jo crossed her arms. “Hey Jo, I know we just got legally married and you just got out of the psych ward, but I have a perfect little family and I’m leaving you for them. P.S. sorry I didn’t have the balls to say any of this in person.”

Alex placed his hand on her arm, but she tore it away. He gestured to an empty room. “Please, can we talk about this in there?”

Jo huffed. “Oh, is this embarrassing for you? You don’t think having to cover my name tag because I changed my last name to the guy's who promised he’d never leave me was embarrassing?”

Jo looked around, suddenly feeling the eyes of every person in the room staring through her. She grabbed Alex’s arm and dragged him into the room. She shut and locked the door, then turned around. Alex already had his mouth open, ready to defend himself. Jo held her finger up.

“No, you don’t get to talk. You did your talking in that letter, now you get to listen.” Alex slumped his shoulders then sat on the hospital bed as Jo paced back and forth in front of him. “Ha!” Jo said as she threw her arms up. “I’ve waited for eight months to yell at you. I’ve rehearsed what I’d say to you over a thousand times, but now that you’re here I can’t remember any of it.” Jo’s head dropped to her   
chest. She rubbed her palms against her face, trying to remember.

“Maybe if you let me go fir-”

Jo turned and glared at him. “Go first? You did go first. Not only did you go first, but you did it through a letter, so I didn’t have the chance to go second. I never got the chance to yell at you for leaving me. To leave your-” Jo stopped herself. She turned away, tears glazing her eyes as she realized what she’d almost done. She almost let slip exactly what she’d been trying to get everyone else to keep secret. “Why are you here?”

The bed creaked as Alex stood and made his way to Jo. “Because, I-” Alex was interrupted by Jo’s beeper going off. She pulled it off her pants and checked it, her throat tightening as she read the message.

“I have to go.”

“What happened?” Jo asked over her daughter’s screams as she ran into the hospital room. Olivia was lying in one of the daycare worker’s arms, crying her head off as a pediatrician held a gauze to her head. The worker slowly transitioned Olivia to Jo’s arm. Being in her mother’s arms help calm her screams slightly, but her little bottom lip kept quivering and her cheeks were tomatoes.

“Two of the older children were having a small argument, so we split them up, but while Maria was talking to one of the boys, the other picked up a wooden block and tried to throw it at him. It ended up hitting Olivia.”

Jo placed a kiss to the side of Olivia’s head that wasn’t bleeding. “Wil she need stitches?”

“No, The bleeding has stopped. There’s no reason to order a CT and at her age, I wouldn’t recommend one. She should be fine, but keep an eye on her for the next twenty-four hours to see if she develops any vomiting or difficulty staying alert. Obviously, if she has any trouble breathing, loss of consciousness, or seizures, you should immediately call 911.”

Jo nodded. She already knew the information, but for some reason being on the other side made her want to make the doctor run every test imaginable to make sure her baby girl was healthy. After the doctor finished bandaging up her forehead, Jo rocked her back and forth, holding her close and thanking God she was okay. Her phone buzzed in her back pocket. She almost didn’t answer it, until she remembered Meredith was going to pick up Olivia and was probably wondering where she was.

Jo reached for her phone and slid her thumb across the screen.

“Hey,” Jo said, her phone held between her ear and shoulder. “Olivia’s okay, she didn’t need stitches.”

“What? What happened?” Meredith asked.

“Oh, I figured you’d heard. Some kid hit Olivia with a block and she got cut. She’s fine though. I’ll bring her to you now.” Jo left the room but first checked the hallway to make sure Alex hadn’t followed her.

“No, Don’t!” Jo froze.

“Why not?”

“Because Alex left me with his kids. He needed to go check on something and I don’t have a good excuse as to why I had two kids when he left and three when he comes back.”

Jo sighed. “Well, what am I supposed to do with her? I have another surgery soon and I can’t put her back in that daycare.”

“What about Link? Can he watch her for a few minutes?”

“No, Link’s got a big surgery soon.”

Meredith was silent for a moment.

“Okay, can you just hold on for a few minutes. I’ll text you when he picks them up.” Jo checked the clock.

“Yeah, I have about half an hour.”

“Okay. I’ll text you.”

“Thank you, bye.” Jo hung up the phone and slid it back into her pocket. She walked over to the waiting room chairs and sat, leaning back so Olivia could lay on her chest. Olivia’s eye’s drooped. She had one fist by her ear and the other laying across her chest. She looked so small, her bandage covering her entire forehead. It made Jo’s heart clench and stomach churn. She felt like something was wrong, but she shook the feeling away. Her daughter was checked and cleared by a doctor. Other than the gash on her head, she looked perfectly normal.

“You’re okay. You’re okay,” Jo whispered.

Alex’s feet grew heavier and heavier with every step he took. He’d just seen Izzie hooked up to multiple wires and he was so tired he couldn’t name half the machines in that room. All after being yelled at by his ex, it was slowly wearing on him. As his vision blurred, he started to realize living off four hours of sleep a night for the past few months had not been healthy. He stopped in the middle of the hallway, placed his hands on his thighs, and took a few deep breaths.

“Sir, are you okay?” A nurse asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Alex nodded, unable to form words. He tried to close his eyes, but every time he’d see the disappointed look Jo gave him, but keeping his eyes open was just as hard. Not only were they growing weaker, but looking at the hospital floors reminded him of the last month. He’d spent more time in the hospital than out of it, and not for work. He’d barely gone to work. Barely seen his children. He hadn’t had time for food, sleep, or a shower and it was finally catching up with him.

“Do you need to sit? Water?” Alex shook his head. He stood, remembered who he was doing it all for when giggles erupted from the room a few feet ahead of him. He closed his eyes, letting the sound calm his breathing and heart rate, before walking into the room.

“Daddy,” the twins said simultaneously as they ran to Alex. He bent down and lifted them in the air, placing them on his hip.

“Is Mommy ready?” Eli asked. Alex frowned. He turned to Meredith, who gave him a sad smile, before leaving the room. Alex sat Alexis and Eli on two chairs and kneeled in front of them. He placed his hands on their knees.

“Guys, remember how Mommy is really, really sick.” They nodded. A tear fell down Alex’s cheek so he stared at the floor until he recomposed himself. “Well,” he said with a dry throat, “She is getting a lot of medicine to help her so she doesn’t feel sick, but in order to give her all the medicine, she has to be hooked up to a lot of machines. There are a lot of wires and I don’t want you guys to get scared, because everything in that room is there to make mommy feel better, okay?”

Alexis nodded, but Eli looked at his shoes. Alex gently knocked his knee. “What is it, Buddy?”

“Is Mommy gonna die today?” Alex took Eli and wrapped him in his arms. They’d discussed how mommy had cancer and it wasn’t going to get better. They talked to the kids about death and what happens when you die. That wasn’t the first time Eli’d asked that question.

“I don’t know Buddy,” Alex said, his hand rubbing his back. Alexis inhaled sharply, so Alex leaned over and included her in their hug. “But I do know that she wants to see both of you before her surgery.”

Eli pulled back. “Can we go now?”

Alex nodded and picked them up.

“Thank you so much,” Jo said as she handed Olivia to Meredith.

“It’s no problem.” Olivia moaned as she was transferred, but she didn’t wake up.

“So, did you find out why he’s here?”

Meredith bounced Olivia. “Yes, but,” she said when jo opened her mouth, “I am not going to tell you. He needs to be the one to do so.”

“But it’s not about Olivia?”

“No.”

“Is one of his kids sick?” Jo was still angry at Alex for leaving her, but she would never wish pain on a child, except the one who threw a block at her daughter.

“No, but that’s all I’m going to say.” Meredith turned around and walked to the hospital entrance.

“Meredith! Ugh.” Jo shoved her hands in her pockets and stomped her foot. Why couldn’t anything be easy for once?

Alex placed his hands on his children’s backs as guided them into the room. Izzie was lying on the bed, at least a dozen wires spread across her body and multiple other devices tracking her breathing, heart rate, and brain function. Izzie turned her head towards her family and smiled.

“Come here, babies.” Izzie lifted her hand and patted the side of her bed. The anxiety on the twin’s faces went away and they ran to her.

“Mommy!” They got to the end of the bed and lifted their arms over their heads. Alex picked up Eli and placed him on the edge, then did the same for Alexis on the other side. Izzie reached her hands out to hold both of them. Her head was covered in a purple scarf, something the twins had picked out when they heard she had to shave her head.

“I want you guys to know, that no matter what happens today, I love you. I love you and I am so proud of who you’ve become. You are going to be big, strong, loving grown-ups and I am going to watch you do it. No matter if it’s right next to you or from Heaven. Okay?”

The twins nodded, but Alex and Izzie knew they didn’t really understand. They’d never lost anybody, not even a pet. They just knew mommy had a sickness and it wasn’t a cold or stomach bug. It was something she couldn’t spread, but she wasn’t going to get better either, and one day it would take her away from them.

“Excuse me,” Amelia said as she knocked on the door. Alex, who had his head in his hands, mentally groaned. He knew she was going to be on the case, he just hoped it didn’t mean-

“Hey,” Link said. “We’re here to do your pre-op. Would you like another moment?”

Izzie turned to Alex. “Would you take them now?”

Alex lifted his head and nodded. He picked up Alexis, then Eli, while trying to ignore the stares he was getting from Link and Amelia.

“Alex,” Amelia said softly under her breath.

“Alex,” Link said through gritted teeth, his hand tightly gripping his clipboard.

Alex turned to Link. “Not now, please.” He looked down at his kids. Link nodded and Alex left the room. He carried them back to the elevator, praying that wasn’t the last time they saw their mother.

Jo had only been halfway up the stairs when she got the page for Meredith. She ran down the stairs, almost tripping twice. She got to the hospital entrance, just in time to see her daughter lying on a stretcher, being rushed to the elevator, Meredith running beside her.

“What happened?” Jo asked as she grabbed her daughter’s hand and speed-walked down the hall.

“I was putting her in her car seat when she started seizing, her lips turned blue and I rushed her back.” The doors to the elevator opened, just as Alex walked around the corner.

“Jo? Mer?” He asked as the nurses and doctors pushed Olivia into the elevator, Jo not leaving her side. Alex watched everyone get in, the sides of his eyes crinkled as he tried to process the scene in front of him.

“Jo?” he asked. Jo turned to him, her eyes swelling with tears as the doors closed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex gets a shock while Jo deals with her injured daughter.

Jo had only gotten halfway up the stairs when she got the page from Meredith. She ran down the stairs, almost tripping twice. She got to the hospital entrance just in time to see her daughter lying on a stretcher, being rushed to the elevator, Meredith running beside her.  
“What happened?” Jo asked as she grabbed her daughter’s hand and speed-walked down the hall.  
“I was putting her in her car seat when she started seizing, her lips turned blue and I rushed her back.” The doors to the elevator opened, just as Alex walked around the corner.  
“Jo? Mer?” He asked as the nurses and doctors pushed Olivia into the elevator, Jo not leaving her side. Alex watched everyone get in, the sides of his eyes crinkled as he tried to process the scene in front of him.  
“Jo?” he asked. Jo turned to him, her eyes swelling with tears as the doors closed.

“Jo!” he screamed at the shut elevator doors. Meredith grabbed his arm and tried to pull him away.

“Come with me,” she said. He ripped away from her grasp.

“What the hell is going on?”

“Alex,” Meredith said firmly as she looked down at the children in his arms. He narrowed his eyes and let out a slow, shaky breath.

“Mer, are you keeping something from me?” His voice was low and filled with betrayal.

“Alex, I promise I’ll tell you everything. You just need to come with me.”

Jo rushed with the group of transport nurses and doctors through the hall to of the pediatric ward, to an empty room. She couldn’t hear anything the doctor was saying over the sound of her heart beating wildly in her chest. Her little girl was laying on a long gurney, taking up less room than a pillow. Her lips were growing increasing blue and her limbs were jerking rhythmically.

“Jo, I’m gonna need you to step outside,” one of the nurses said as she placed her hand on Jo’s shoulder and tried to gently lead her out of the room.

Jo swatted her hand away. “No, I’m not leaving my daughter.”

“You know better than anyone it’s not helpful for the parent to be hysterical in the room where the doctors are trying to work.”

Was she being hysterical? She didn’t think so. She thought she was being the right amount of worried, seeing as her two-month-old daughter was seizing and she didn’t know why. She let the woman walk her out of the room, but didn’t move a foot away from the entrance.

Alex had placed his twins on a chair and handed them his phone to play on, then grabbed Meredith’s arm and walked with her to the other side of the room.

“Now, are you gonna tell me what the hell is going on?” he whispered.

She crossed her arms. “I think you know.”

Alex huffed. “No, I don’t.”

She held her palm towards him. “Just think about it for a moment.”

Alex bit his lip but did as he was told. He closed his eyes and thought back to what he’d seen. Jo, running past him with a baby on a gurney. That was a normal sight, she was a general surgeon after all, but it was the way she was with the baby that confused him. Instead of assessing her, she was holding her hand and had red, blotchy eyes.

When she’d turned to Alex, she seemed scared. Why would she be scared? She dealt with patients every day and sure she cried when she lost one sometimes, especially young ones, but never in the middle of trying to save one.

“Mere?” he asked as he opened his eyes. His throat tightened as he stared at his best friend and waited.

Meredith smiled a sad smile then nodded. Alex exhaled a sharp breath, before walking out of the room.

“Alex, wait!”

Jo had been standing against the wall for five minutes and twenty-three seconds when the doctor walked out. her hands shook as she asked,“How is she? Is she okay?”

“She had a tonic-clonic seizure, previously known as a grand-mal seizure.”

Jo’s hand cupped her mouth. “Oh my God.”

“We were able to stop the seizure, but she was struggling to breathe so we had to intubate her.”

Jo’s vision grew blurry and her chest was so tight she thought they may have to intubate her too.

“She’s resting right now. We assume the seizure was caused by a TBI she might’ve received earlier.”

“No,” Jo said, her finger pointed at the doctor’s face, “The doctor said she didn’t need a CT scan. That she should be fine.”

“Jo, these things can be easy to miss. You know this. Even if she’d gotten a CT this still could’ve been missed. We’re going to keep her monitored and check her when she wakes up. Hopefully, this was a one-time occurrence.”

“But you’re not sure.”

The doctor shook his head. “There are no certainties in medicine, especially when you’re dealing with infants. Babies, while resilient, can be hard to test for longer-lasting brain injuries. Also, with the amount of oxygen her brain was cut off from for over a minute, we can’t be sure that that didn’t cause any damage as well.”

Jo fell to her knees, her head buried in her hands as she sobbed, praying for her little girl.

“Alex,” Meredith shouted as she ran through the halls of the hospital, following him. He got to the entrance and walked out the door. Meredith wanted to follow him, but she couldn’t leave the kids in the hospital by themselves.

“Was that Alex?” she heard Bailey ask. Meredith whipped her head to her.

“Great, could you go in that room and stay with his kids.”

“His kids? What?” Meredith turned and walked out of the entrance. “Grey!”

“Alex,” she yelled as she walked through the doorway. “Al-” she cut herself off when she saw Alex standing off to the left, his hands pressed against his knees and his eyes squeezed shut. She walked over to him.

“Alex?”

“I don’t understand how,” he took a deep breath.

“Well, you guys were together about eleven months ago. That’s how.”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t get how she could go without telling me. How you could lie to me.”

Meredith hung her head as she straightened his back. “I trusted you, how could you not pick up the freaking phone and tell me.”

She crossed her arms. “Why couldn’t you do Jo the same. You could’ve picked up the phone and called her. You could’ve come back and talked to her.”

He waved his hand. “I’m not talking about her, I’m talking about you. My best friend of over freaking ten years. How could you keep this from me?” he yelled at her, tears rushing down his red face.

“You didn’t see Jo when she told me. She was a mess, already five months along but still didn’t want to come to terms with it. She begged me not to tell you and you know what? I agreed with her. You left her behind, you didn’t want to see her again-”

“That’s not true-”

“So, I supported her, but now I think she’s going to need you. You have to decide right now if you can, or if you’re just going to leave again.”

“Mere, you know it’s not that simpl-”

“You know what, it is. You’re a father and you have an eight-week-old daughter and an ex-wife who could really use you right now. I’m going back in to watch your children until you figure out what it is you’re going to do.” Meredith turned and walked back into the hospital. Alex stared at where she stood. He knew what he had to do. He walked into the hospital, ran to the patient elevator he’d recently made his way out of, and pressed the button for Peds.

When the doors opened, he ran down the hall, his head darting left and right, looking for any sign of Jo. He took a left and that’s when he saw her, kneeling on the floor, crying hysterically. He ran to her, kneeled beside her, and took her in his arms, her head laying against his chest.

“I’m here Jo. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”


	7. Chapter 7

Alex’s hand brushed up and down Jo’s arm as he held her tight and tried to get her to breathe slowly.

“In and out, Jo. Come on, just like this,” Alex slowly inhaled through his nose and exhaled through his lips.

Jo closed her eyes and tried to copy him, but her chest was too tight and she could only get a small amount of oxygen in her lungs before letting out a sharp, shaky exhale. Alex held her tighter.

“Come on Jo. I know you can do this. Just take a few breaths. Everything will be okay.”

She sniffed. “You *hiccup* don’t *hiccup* know that.”

Alex sighed. He wanted to say something to comfort her, but he wasn’t her person anymore. He hadn’t been there for her and he didn’t know if any of his words would hold much weight. He pushed her away then rearranged himself so he could hold her up while looking her in the eye.

“You’re right. I don’t know how everything will turn out.” Jo placed her hands against her mouth and continued to hyperventilate. “But, I do know that you are the strongest person I’ve ever met and whatever happens you can get through it.” He grabbed for her hands and held them inside his. 

“We can get through this.”

She ripped her hands away. “There is no us. There’s only me and my daughter. So just go back to your family and leave us alone.” Jo stood and pushed past him to go to Olivia.

He rubbed his hands against his face, before turning around. “I know I treated you like crap. I shouldn’t have left, especially the way I did, but I wanna be here for you. For both of you.”

They turned to Olivia, who’s eyes were moving under her thin eyelids, hopefully dreaming about something happy and relaxing. Jo brushed her hand through her thin, brunette hair. 

“I needed you to be here nine months ago when I found out I was pregnant. I needed you to be here a few months ago when I gave birth. I needed you this morning when I was freaking out about returning to work.”

She stared into his eyes and shook her head. “I needed you every day you’ve been gone, but I’ve made it through and I will keep making it through. I don’t want you here.”

Alex took a step toward her, but she held her free hand out. “No, just leave us. Please.”

Alex glanced at his injured daughter, so tiny and unable to breathe on her own. He didn’t know if he had the strength to leave her, but it wasn’t going to make things better for him to stay. If Jo didn’t want him there, then he owed it to her to leave.

Alex turned to the doorway, but looked back at Jo and said, “I’ll be downstairs with Meredith if you change your mind.”

Alex trudged down the stairs, the weight of his heart growing and pulling him down with each step. He got to the first floor and reached for the door handle, but before he could open it he was on the floor, tears streaming down his cheeks as he pulled his weak, wobbly knees to his chest. The strong man's outer shell he’d had on since the moment he found out Izzie was sick, cracked and the soft, broken man he’d always been seeped through. 

Suddenly he had a daughter with the love of his life and she was on a ventilator while the other mother of his children was having a life-threatening surgery just for a few more months with their kids. It was too much.

His breathing was so strangled and pained, he didn’t hear the door open and close beside him, until Miranda was on her knees with wide eyes, trying to dissect the image in front of her.

“Okay Karev, you need to calm down. Take some breaths with me.” Miranda started breathing with him the same way he'd done with Jo, but it was much harder on the other end when his throat was burning and his chest was under a ton of bricks.

She placed one hand on his knee and the other on his shoulder, and continued until he was able to speak.

“I can’t keep going like this, Bailey. I’m losing my mind.” Alex turned his head away to the window, the light shining through making the tears on his cheeks shimmer. “I just wanted to do the right thing and I ruined everything.”

Miranda placed a hand against Alex’s red face. “Look, you made some bad choices, but you can’t put everything that’s happening on you. Izzie’s cancer, not your fault. Your daughter having a seizure, not your fault.”

Alex turned back to Miranda, his bottom lip pressed out. “But I’ve just made things worse. I helped Jo get better just to leave her behind. I left her for a woman who might not even make it till tomorrow.”

“But think about this. If you hadn’t become a part of those kids' lives then, they would be dealing with the loss of their mother alone. You being there for them has probably helped them in ways you can’t even imagine. And of course, you shouldn’t have left Jo, but it’s not like she reverted back to the person she was before she was before she met you. The only thing you can do now is start making things right.”

Alex huffed. “Jo just said she doesn’t want me here. Maybe it would be better for the baby if I wasn’t around to screw it up.”

Miranda slapped his arm.

“Ow,” he yelled.

“You better stop your self-deprecating pity party right now. You have a hell of a lot of people counting on you, three of them being young children. So get up and go be the dad I’ve always known you could be.”

Alex stared at her for a moment, before turning over and standing. He gave her a small, side smirk. “Thanks, Bailey.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia gets some tests done while Alex finds out how Izzie's surgery went.

“Dad?” Eli asked as he sat next to Alex in the waiting room, “Could you not do that?”

Alex followed Eli’s gaze to his finger, which was tapping against the edge of his armrest.

“Oh,” Alex said as he stopped the task he didn’t realize he’d been doing, “Sorry, Bud.”

“It’s okay.” Eli looked at his shoes then the clock on the wall, as though he could tell time. “When are the doctors going to be done fixing Mommy.”

Just as Alex was about to say he didn’t know, Amelia walked in and as soon as her eyes met Alex’s, he knew it wasn’t good. She walked over, as though he wasn’t a man she’d worked with for years, someone his best friend considered to be a sister. Alex stood.

“Would you please come with me? We need to speak about Ms. Steven’s Surgery.” He looked at Eli and Alexis, the latter of which was hunched over watching videos on his phone.

“I’ve got them,” Meredith said as she sat in the seat next to Alexis.

Alex nodded, unable to speak. He followed Amelia down the hall until they were in an unpopulated area, far enough so the twins wouldn’t overhear.

He crossed his arm. “Is she…is she still,” Alex couldn’t bring himself to say it. He couldn’t even bring himself to think it. Think about the possibility that his children were now without a mother.

Amelia tightly clasped her clipboard. “There were complications. This was a risky surgery and-”

Alex held his hand out to stop her. “Just tell me.”

Ameilia took a deep breath. “She’s brain dead.”

Alex hit his knees.

In room 715, Jo wasn’t fairing much better. Her daughter was laying in the middle of a pillow-like-mat on her large hospital bed, still attached to the ventilator. The doctors wanted to give her time to heal, but every second Jo watched her daughter felt like a stab to the chest.

She brushed her hand down Olivia’s arm, watching her tiny chest barely rise and fall. Oh, how she wished she could take her place. No child should ever have to go through so much pain.

She tried to keep her spirits up by singing. “Slipping through my fingers all the time, I try to capture every minute, the feeling in it, slipping through my fingers a-”

She was interrupted by Olivia’s eyes shooting open, her arms flailing as she tried to reach for the tube in her mouth.

She’d seen intubated patients wake up and panic to find they weren’t breathing on their own many times, but seeing her own daughter turned her from knowable doctor to helpless mother.

“Someone come quick,” she yelled. A doctor ran in, followed by two nurses.

“Ah,” said the doctor, “It looks like someone’s trying to breathe on their own. Let’s get this tube out, huh?” The doctors and nurses worked together to pull the tube out. As soon as the tube passed Olivia’s  
lips, a shakey cry erupted from her small frame. Jo had never been so happy to hear her daughter cry.

“Now that’s a good sign,” the doctor said with a smile. Jo wrapped her arms around her daughter and kissed her softly on the head.

“You’re okay, baby girl. Everythings going to be okay.”

Nothing would be okay again. Alex knew that was true. It didn’t matter that Alex made up half his twin’s DNA, he’d only been their father for less than a year and he’d managed to screw up a million times. One day he almost sent the kids to school with peanuts as a snack, until Izzie checked their bags and reminded him the kids weren’t allowed to have snacks that had peanuts, let alone peanuts themselves.

It was like that every day. Every attempt he made to make a decision for the kids was wrong and corrected by Izzie, but she was gone. She wasn’t going to be able to stop his stupid decisions. She wasn’t going to be there to take them to school, or tuck them in. The day they’d known was coming for months had finally arrived.  
Alex rubbed his hand against his chest, trying to relieve the pressure building inside. His throat was paralyzed, unable to bring any air to his lungs. Amelia squatted beside him and placed her hand on his shoulder.

“Alex,” she said, “you need to breathe.”

He couldn’t, he was too exhausted. He didn’t know how many panic attacks one could have in one day before it turned into a heart attack, but he figured he was close.

Suddenly, his vision grew black and his head hit the floor.

Once Olivia was calmed down, her doctor decided to run through a series of tests to determine how severe her brain damage was, even though some things might take years to develop, they figured they try to give her the best chance. Jo held her daughter through every test she could and if she wasn’t able to, she sat by her side, holding her hand when she got the chance.

It killed her to do it all on her own when Olivia’s father was somewhere in the same building and could be by her side in a matter of minutes, but she wasn’t going to show him any weakness. She didn’t want him to think she still needed him. That she needed him to wrap her in his arms and promise her things would be alright. That their daughter wouldn’t have any long-lasting problems and if she did they could face them together, as a family.

But he already had a family. With a perfect wife and two perfect kids and she was just some mistake. Olivia was just an accident and they were just a problem to him. Well, she didn’t need his pity. She’s done well taking care of Olivia on her own, she could keep doing it. If Meredith could raise three kids on her own then she’d do just fine taking care of one.

Alex’s tried to push his eyes open, but pain was shooting through the left side of his head. He groaned and tried to sit up, but someone placed their hands on his chest and pushed him back down.

“Just lay down, Alex,” Amelia said as he rested his head against the cold floor. Wait, why was he lying on the floor?

He forced himself to open his eyes, just enough to check his surroundings. That’s when he realized he was lying on the floor of the hospital, Amelia and Meredith kneeling beside him.

He must’ve passed out, but why? He closed his eyes and tried to remember what he’d been doing. Everything came rushing back. Jo, his sick daughter, Izzie. He guessed the stress plus lack of sleep must have caught up with him. As soon as he gathered enough strength, he attempted to sit up again.

Amelia tried to keep him lying down, but he brushed her away.

“I’m fine.” He pushed himself back until he hit the wall, then rested his head against it. He took a deep breath and tried to keep the tears from falling. He failed. With his elbows resting on his knees, he wiped his hands across his face. “Where are Eli and Alexis?”

“They're still in the waiting room with Pierce,” Meredith said.

Alex nodded then tried to stand. “I have to talk to them.” Meredith and Amelia placed their hands on either arm and kept him seated.

“Woah there buddy. You try to get up now and you’ll end up passing out again for sure. Why don’t you just sit down for a few minutes.”

Alex pulled his arms away then stood. “No, let me go. I’m just tired and now I have to go tell my freaking kids their mother didn’t make it through surgery.”

“What?” Eli asked from the end of the hallway, his wide, innocent eyes welling with tears. “Mommy died?” He looked back and forth between the adults, before running back down the hall he’d come from.

“Eli!” Alex shouted as he took off after him.

Jo was just about to fall asleep when Olivia’s doctor walked into her room, his eyes narrowed and his mouth a crisp line. Jo stood and walked over to him, trying to prepare herself for what he had to say. Whatever it was, they would get through it.

The doctor looked down at his chart, before saying, “So we performed a multitude of tests today, trying to rule out anything we can, but with such a young infant, that’s a hard thing to do.” He cleared his throat. “We performed a test called a General Movement Assessment, that tests to see-”

Jo held her hand to stop him. “I know what it’s for. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

The doctor nodded. “Right, well we noticed some odd movement, or shall I saw, lack of movement, in her legs. I want to perform more tests, but I think we may be looking at Spastic Cerebral Palsy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I just wanna make a note that I am not in the medical field. I might get some things wrong, but I try my best to research things and post as accurately as possible. I hope you liked the chapter! And if you like Gilmore Girls, go check out my new Jesse fanfic!


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